Making Thine Ears Sensitive

I remember, distinctly, being in rehearsal in HS and begin asked (as a part of the group) to sing something in our part.  What?  I don't sing!  That's why I'm in band people!  I didn't have any sort of relative pitch and I certainly didn't know how to carry a tune.  How am I supposed to make my voice sing the notes you're asking for?  Confusing!
 
Then I get to college and Theory and Sightsinging are taught in the same class period.  No problem there.  However, the class was slanted towards singers and piano players and there was no instruction in how to enact your voice.  I have a really low voice and most people don't so I always found myself uncomfortably singing below other people (which I would not continue to do) or not being able to sing as high as required.  Once again, it also didn't help that the class was slanted towards singers and piano players (it also didn't help that there was no actual teaching going on.  No one started from the beginning and assumed we all knew nothing and then taught everything.  It was more like having someone look down their nose at you every day because you didn't have the training they expected you to have so they wouldn't have to actually teach you anything.)  To say the least, I was disheartened.
 
Then I was taking "Form and Analysis" (not really, they just called it that and the Organ Professor taught it really poorly) and I was struggling because there was no teaching going on and then we were singing stuff in harmony (which I can't do and wasn't taught to do) and was getting nowhere.  Then....
 
I got into Drum Corps.  The best part about that is that there are always recordings avialable, the shows are to the point, usually very well written, and easy to listen to over and over.  I acquired a few Cd's and started listening.  Then I discovered a few shows that I REALLY liked and felt compelled to sing along.  I found that I could easily crack my voice and sing in falsetto quite easily (something multiple college professors, with Doctorates, were too lazy to do.)  Then, I figured out that, after multiple listenings, I kind of had a pitch memory.  Like, I could actually remember what was coming up next and sing it before the note started and be right!  Yes! 
 
Then I started thinking...Can I have perfect pitch on my instrument?  Not actual perfect pitch, the kind you're born with, just perfect pitch on my instrument.  How else do brass players know what note they're gonna play?  How else would I know which note was which without seeing someone's fingers or reading the music they were playing?  Good idea!
 
So, I started to just think notes before I played them.  I "kind of" knew what everything sounded like, but not exactly, so I decided to start being much more specific with the level of sensitivity I had to pitch.  Amazingly, it helped alot.  Not only do I have a much better idea of how everything should sound on my primary instrument, but in playing anything, I have a much more acute awareness of how intervals sound and how harmonic progressions sound. 
 
I never realized how close half-steps were until I started listening to how far apart I was playing some of them on certain parts of my instrument.  Then I started listening to my private students and they were way off too!  Then I have a flashback...
 
If you were taking lessons where I went to college you took a Fall and Spring jury with the entire wind and percussion faculty.  I have no problem with this kind of stuff so I was never bothered by it, but I remember one instance in particular that I took a long time to figure out.
 
I was asked once "Do you feel like you're playing in tune with yourself?"  I had no response for that at the time and no explanation was given.  In fact, the subject never came up again.  Granted, I did change mouthpieces that summer and that did bring my overall pitch up (I tend to play low, it's a consequence of my open embouchure) but I just didn't hear about it again.
 
So, I'm teaching someone a couple years ago and it hits me!  Dang, all of these intervals are totally out of whack!  You aren't playing in tune with yourself dude! 

Now I can't stop saying it.  It's everywhere!  It's as if I can now see radio waves that were not visible before, like I've got X-ray vision.  Craziness!
 
Anyways, how do you make yourself more sensitive to the changing of the tides?  I don't know that there's a formula for gaining a more firm grasp on relative pitch, but I do know that there are things you can do...
 
-  don't get discouraged
-  if you're not a singer, become a shower singer (you know, like in the Golden Girls when Sophia realizes that Blanche's brother Clayton is gay "He's as a gay as a picnic basket!"  "Ma, how did you know!?"  "I heard him singing in the shower.  He's the only man I ever knew who knew all the words to "Send in the Clowns."  It won't be this revealing, but it will teach you about pitch memory.
-  if you like singing with the radio, you're in business as this will also teach you alot about pitch memory.
-  if you refuse to sing SOMETIMES you won't get any better at this stuff
-  if you're ever in a rehearsal situation where you are guessing who's sharp and flat you're doing the right thing
-  watch some American Idol and figure out how many of the singers are flat most of the time (hint - it's ALOT!)
-  do a full intonation chart for your instrument
-  try singing your parts to yourself, then check it against your own playing.  You'll be amazed how "off" you are sometimes.
 
Try it out!  Having a good ear is the best way to start moving around and changing instruments.  If you have a good ear, picking up something new will be alot easier when you know what things are SUPPOSED to sound like.