Bass Clarinetists Are Idiots Sometimes

So, today I did someone a favor.  I ran over to a rehearsal to lend out one of my instruments to someone who's playing in a conference in a couple weeks.  Apparently, this person's instrument wasn't treating them nice.

No big deal.

I bring my horn over and I asked that that person's instrument be present so I could take a look at it.  Now, basically, I have four theories about instruments that "don't work".

1.  It's a mis-adjustment of the throat A key.  Too tight and the Ab may be slightly open.  Too loose and air will leak out of the key.  It needs a little "play", but not much.

2.  A mal-adjusted low G or A.  Some Bass Clarinets have all kinds of adjustment screws down there for low G and low A.  Some have vent keys for low A and some don't.  Keeping two adjustment screws in balance, OR getting the right level on just one could be difficult.  Sometimes, an inexperienced Bass Clarinetist (even if they are a seasoned musician or Clarinetist) may not be able to play through a slight mis-adjustment of this key.

3.  Odd bending of keys and adjustment plates around low B or Bb.  There's all kinds of systems designed to deal with these keys, but sometimes they're just bent too.

4.  The person just flat doesn't know what they're doing and they are AFRAID.  Yes, AFRAID.  I even had a sane person who is a specialist on Bass Clarinet tell me that they played this instrument and sometimes it squeaked weirdly, etc.  Fear makes you do stupid things, and it makes you play badly.

I boil all this down to stupidity.  You have to REALLY know the instrument and you really have to know its tendencies.  Not the tendencies of just your instrument, but the tendencies of the Bass Clarinet in general.

So, though the term "idiot" may seem a little harsh, it's all I've got.  If you're not learning this stuff as you're playing then you just aren't using you brain.  That's the hard and fast truth.

I played a perfectly good instrument today because of someone else's fear and lack of knowledge.  Though it's frustrating it's not surprising.

When will we learn?