I posted this past Saturday about playing loud. I believe I said something like:
"Boy and girls. Playing loud is something you have to practice...not a fancy you indulge. Conductors can tell when you can't do it."
Well, that's true, but it goes much deeper than that. Then I had a small exchange with a lovely person on Tumblr about that because she said she never plays loud enough. So, I thought I should address it.
I have talked, long in the past....way far back....about the way in which you perceive your tone. You have to have a tonal concept. You have to know how you want to sound, and you have to work until you get that sound. This tonal concept should drive everything you do, and it should drive you crazy when you are not getting the sound you want.
That tonal concept takes you to places that you will enjoy. You will sound better overall, and you will learn quickly how to mane the most of the tone you do have. If you are playing enough, you are going to learn how to produce large amounts of sound, and you are going to learn what your limits are. HOWEVER, there comes a point of diminishing returns.
Bass clarinet is not an instrument you play loud...it just doesn't sound good that way. You play loud to develop your sound, but those are not your best tones. The best sounds you will make are RESONANT. If your tone is truly resonant, it will be perceived as much louder than it really is, and that is a triumph in and of itself.
How do you get a resonant tone? The concept. You have to go back to the concept over and over. A big billowing tone that just sort of wafts out of your instrument like smoke. It goes everywhere and everyone can hear it. THAT is what you are looking for.
Think of it like this. You are in your room late at night, and you turn the TV down to not disrupt anyone. As the night gets later and you binge watch a whole season of your favorite show, you keep turning the TV down because you start perceiving it as louder and louder. It is NOT getting louder, but you perceive it that way.
In the same way, the more time you spend with your tonal concept, it gets perceived as louder and louder. The only problem is that no one EVER talks about tone. They just don't. They talk about technique and cleanliness and stuff you can teach to a chair. You cannot teach a chair to play with a resonant tone. I get yelled at for it all the time, but the simple fact is that I am using about 30-40% of my available air when I am playing "loud" and no one even remotely understands that concept. That is why you I play on such an open setup. I don't need all the resistance. I just don't...it prevents me from making the sound I want.
Ok, how do I do THAT?
Well, you have to open your mouth. If you have ever been in band, you have likely heard some form of brass instruction that centers around dropping your tongue, using more air and air efficiency. THAT is where I learned that. So, you can blame a lot of people for me playing "loud" but none of them play woodwind instruments. I adopted the dropped tongue, open air and pedal tone practice from brass players.
Guess what, folks. You're practicing the wrong things :) There are three things I can recommend that will change your life if you're willing to do them (and I am have just realized I need to make a video of this.)
1. Remington's Chromatic Exercises
Remington knew what he was doing, and this works well for everyone. Play F concert, descend by a half step and back up to F. Then down a whole step and back up to F and so on until you end on Bb concert. Start on Bb and use that as tonic. Now you go down a half step and back up. Down a whole step and back up until you have reached the bottom of the horn. The only catch is that all the notes have to sound exactly the same. That is 10 million times harder than you think it is. Now play it loud. It just got harder. Now play it louder. It got even harder. Do that a few thousand times, and you will be able to resonate that exercise to make it sound like you are playing a VERY broad sound without using much air at all.
2. Field Warm Ups For Band
This exercise comes from Jay Bocook's "Field Warm Ups For Band". Play pretty darn loud starting on low Bb concert chromatically down to low E concert and back up in quarter notes. Then repeat that immediately in eighth notes TWICE. That is three times through the pattern. Every note has to be the same, and it you have to make it to the end of the exercise. Good luck with that, again, it is harder than you think.
3. Use Softer Reeds For God's Sake!
Time for some tough love. Yes, I'm talking to you. Your reeds are probably too hard. They just are. Your tone sounds generic because the reeds are not flexible enough for you to do anything other than what the reed provides, and the reed is providing VERY little. Guess what, use softer reeds. I play on a Gonzalez 2.75 which is about a Vandoren Blue Box 2.5 I know, I hear you gasping. Dude, it works. It just does. Stop wasting your money on reeds that you know deep down in your soul are too hard. You are killing your sound from the inside out because you cannot get any air into your instrument.
Now you have a recipe for resonance. The final step is to play with a BROAD sound, not a loud sound. Loud sounds are annoying, broad sounds cover everything in the room. Just imagine the difference in your mind before you dismiss that concept.
Good luck!
Showing posts with label performance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label performance. Show all posts
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Practicing Without Pain
Practicing is difficult if you think that you need learn everything in one night. Practicing is difficult if you think it doesn't do anything. Practicing is difficult if you think that you're going to die the next day when you get to school/your lesson/rehearsal or whatever. Practicing is difficult if you hate your progress, and practice is difficult if you think that 1% progress is not enough.
You have to do a few things before you start practicing:
1. Forgive yourself for not getting it all done at once.
2. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
4. Stop playing something that makes you want to scream.
5. Be willing to take less time to do more.
This may sound like therapy, but you need to remember that you are not a bad person or a bad player because you mess up when you practice. Everybody screws up a lot. There are some people who learn more the more they screw up. Teachers often as you to practice, but they never tell you what a practice session looks like. They never tell you that professional musicians have "preferred pieces" that they play more often than anything else. So, if you are listening to a recording to someone shredding a piece you are playing, you re listening to someone who has played that piece literally a thousand times. That's probably their thing...they are great players all of them...but you might be listening to someone's wheelhouse. What if you are not in your wheelhouse? You are going to think you're fucked. You have to step back and think..."Oh, that's not my bag." You'll work hard, but you can wash away the comparisons.
YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO MAKE MISTAKES AND BAD NOISES
Mistakes are often more informative than right notes. Right notes just sound good, but mistakes tell you all the things you don't know. You can learn about your own playing by listening to what you mess up. You may discover small problems with your playing that are not obvious until you actually listen to your mistakes. You have to love your mistakes because they point to things that will change your perspective.
NO ONE PLAYS PERFECTLY ALL THE TIME
If you want to spend all your time hating your playing, feel free to think other people are perfect. Here's a secret...they aren't. Mess up a lot so you can get it out of your system.
STOP RUNNING THROUGH THINGS
Yeah, you need to run through things...sometimes. You need to practice things daily. Runthroughs are going to drain you, and you are going to notice that you need multiple takes to get it right. You may counter by saying that you have to be able to drop bombs cold in an orchestral audition, but I'm not stupid...I know the majority of the audience here is not taking orchestral auditions. You have a concert coming up, and you will surrounded by other people who are playing. Momentum is a real thing, and the band pulls you along. It just does.
FIND YOUR THING
Everybody needs a thing. Your tone, tonguing, range, something. You need a thing that makes you say...yeah, I'm REALLY good at that. You can be proud of that everytime you do it, and you will be able to fall back on that when you don't feel so good about a practice session.
TAKE LESS TIME
You can practice for hours and hours, but that does not mean the practice is working. You will hit the point of diminishing returns somewhere around three hours. Some people hit that point WAY sooner. You could get more done in ten minutes than some people can do in two hours if you are focused. That's just reality. Stop judging your practice by duration and start judging it by efficiency.
1% IS STILL PROGRESS
Did you make 1% progress today? Then you did something. Awesome! You should not be discouraged because you fixed a tiny thing today or did a tiny thing today. You need to be proud of what you did so you will want to practice again tomorrow. People who hate practicing are dreading it the next day...that's a fact. People who are ready to practice the next day at happy with at least one thing they did the day before.
If you hate your practice sessions it is like running a marathon, cutting off one leg and then running the marathon the next day. I imagine you won't be too excited about it the next day.
PRACTICING IS NOT HARD
It's only hard if you make it hard on yourself. There is so much shame and BS going around the music world that you can hate your playing without even realizing how much you hate it. Stop hating it and start loving it...practicing might get a little easier.
You have to do a few things before you start practicing:
1. Forgive yourself for not getting it all done at once.
2. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
4. Stop playing something that makes you want to scream.
5. Be willing to take less time to do more.
This may sound like therapy, but you need to remember that you are not a bad person or a bad player because you mess up when you practice. Everybody screws up a lot. There are some people who learn more the more they screw up. Teachers often as you to practice, but they never tell you what a practice session looks like. They never tell you that professional musicians have "preferred pieces" that they play more often than anything else. So, if you are listening to a recording to someone shredding a piece you are playing, you re listening to someone who has played that piece literally a thousand times. That's probably their thing...they are great players all of them...but you might be listening to someone's wheelhouse. What if you are not in your wheelhouse? You are going to think you're fucked. You have to step back and think..."Oh, that's not my bag." You'll work hard, but you can wash away the comparisons.
YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO MAKE MISTAKES AND BAD NOISES
Mistakes are often more informative than right notes. Right notes just sound good, but mistakes tell you all the things you don't know. You can learn about your own playing by listening to what you mess up. You may discover small problems with your playing that are not obvious until you actually listen to your mistakes. You have to love your mistakes because they point to things that will change your perspective.
NO ONE PLAYS PERFECTLY ALL THE TIME
If you want to spend all your time hating your playing, feel free to think other people are perfect. Here's a secret...they aren't. Mess up a lot so you can get it out of your system.
STOP RUNNING THROUGH THINGS
Yeah, you need to run through things...sometimes. You need to practice things daily. Runthroughs are going to drain you, and you are going to notice that you need multiple takes to get it right. You may counter by saying that you have to be able to drop bombs cold in an orchestral audition, but I'm not stupid...I know the majority of the audience here is not taking orchestral auditions. You have a concert coming up, and you will surrounded by other people who are playing. Momentum is a real thing, and the band pulls you along. It just does.
FIND YOUR THING
Everybody needs a thing. Your tone, tonguing, range, something. You need a thing that makes you say...yeah, I'm REALLY good at that. You can be proud of that everytime you do it, and you will be able to fall back on that when you don't feel so good about a practice session.
TAKE LESS TIME
You can practice for hours and hours, but that does not mean the practice is working. You will hit the point of diminishing returns somewhere around three hours. Some people hit that point WAY sooner. You could get more done in ten minutes than some people can do in two hours if you are focused. That's just reality. Stop judging your practice by duration and start judging it by efficiency.
1% IS STILL PROGRESS
Did you make 1% progress today? Then you did something. Awesome! You should not be discouraged because you fixed a tiny thing today or did a tiny thing today. You need to be proud of what you did so you will want to practice again tomorrow. People who hate practicing are dreading it the next day...that's a fact. People who are ready to practice the next day at happy with at least one thing they did the day before.
If you hate your practice sessions it is like running a marathon, cutting off one leg and then running the marathon the next day. I imagine you won't be too excited about it the next day.
PRACTICING IS NOT HARD
It's only hard if you make it hard on yourself. There is so much shame and BS going around the music world that you can hate your playing without even realizing how much you hate it. Stop hating it and start loving it...practicing might get a little easier.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
No More Emotional Drain
Starting in 2001, I joined a community band here in the area. We played all kinds of music, conferences and conventions. I basically did the bulk of the bass clarinetting in a section that is beset with very nice people. The section has changed slightly over the years, and I even took a 5-year hiatus from the group.
When I came back to the group, I was having a VERY hard time in my personal life. So, playing was a good thing to do because I was so distracted by everything. I had just gotten my contra and alto, and I started using the three-way setup in the group, essentially, to entertain myself. I played some very good stuff, but I was mostly doing it for me. It doesn't pay, so that was not the issue.
We played a conference this year, and the whole experience aside from the concert was a nightmare. I had to spend ten minutes earlier this season explaining to the director that I shall not play with a bland tone. I spend a good deal more time explaining the breadth and resonance in my sound as it relates to a band that is so big it shouldn't be a problem.
If you've ever dealt with a manipulative person, you know that they are working very hard to point all the conversation at them. Everything is about making them look good, and even more is about making sure they look smart. They change little details in stories hoping no one will notice, and they tell these stories to tons of people who were not there. Manipulative people change history, and they are very good at making you feel bad because they are being a jerk to you.
If you have dealt with the same manipulative person on and off for nearly 25 years, you get used to their tells. I mean, you never start out thinking they're manipulating you, but when you realize what is really going on, it's hard to ignore. Because you're a nice person, you don't say anything. You try to be as chill as possible, and you go on about your life. However, there comes a time when you have to cut ties.
My life is very drama free. I don't like drama, and I have close friends who don't like drama. MY family doesn't like drama, and I'm not a teenager anymore. When a band director uses you (and your classmates) as a teenager to make themself look good, it's kind of sad when you repeat the pattern (in my case twice) when you are an adult. Some people have a "respect cup" that is bottomless, and they are going to make you fill it all the time. There are band directors like that you who live on respect. It's a drug, and when you don't play by their rules, they single you out (sometimes in EXCEEDINGLY subtle ways) to make sure that you fall in line. I don't fall in line like that anymore, and so I have to remove myself from the situation.
The fact is that the majority of the people in the band are happy because they don't know any better. That's fine. There's no reason for me to mess with that, but I won't be party to it anymore. I literally have too much going on to care anymore, and I need to focus my energy on projects that I know I can release this year. I can really do something, but I can't if I'm constantly listening to someone who is trying to get their respect cup filled. You may say that that's selfish, but you have to remember that I know what I'm worth. I don't get paid to perform a service that is highly valuable, and I have to listen to the constant barrage of manipulative banter which, even though it no longer works on me, is upsetting to listen to.
I just finished writing lyrics for an album, half the music is done, and I am going to record the melodies in the next couple weeks. The children's book may get a boost because I may have found an artist, and I have a thousand things I want to release digitally.
So, if you're experiencing drama in your life, it may be time to walk away or create some distance. You don't kick over the table and tell everyone to fuck off, but maybe it's time to get out of the situation and try something else. If you're a student who is stuck in the situation, hang in there as best you can. The best advice I can offer is this:
1. You're worth more than they say
2. You have a long life after this to live
3. I especially prefer when Lorelai explains to her mom the way she acts. She tells her that she chooses to laugh at Emily's insanity and narcissism. That is where all the jokes and sillyness come from. She uses humor to get around the fact that she knows she is being manipulated in every conversation. Choose to laugh at how silly it is on the other side, do something else with yourself and move forward. You don't always just move on, but you can move forward.
When I came back to the group, I was having a VERY hard time in my personal life. So, playing was a good thing to do because I was so distracted by everything. I had just gotten my contra and alto, and I started using the three-way setup in the group, essentially, to entertain myself. I played some very good stuff, but I was mostly doing it for me. It doesn't pay, so that was not the issue.
We played a conference this year, and the whole experience aside from the concert was a nightmare. I had to spend ten minutes earlier this season explaining to the director that I shall not play with a bland tone. I spend a good deal more time explaining the breadth and resonance in my sound as it relates to a band that is so big it shouldn't be a problem.
If you've ever dealt with a manipulative person, you know that they are working very hard to point all the conversation at them. Everything is about making them look good, and even more is about making sure they look smart. They change little details in stories hoping no one will notice, and they tell these stories to tons of people who were not there. Manipulative people change history, and they are very good at making you feel bad because they are being a jerk to you.
If you have dealt with the same manipulative person on and off for nearly 25 years, you get used to their tells. I mean, you never start out thinking they're manipulating you, but when you realize what is really going on, it's hard to ignore. Because you're a nice person, you don't say anything. You try to be as chill as possible, and you go on about your life. However, there comes a time when you have to cut ties.
My life is very drama free. I don't like drama, and I have close friends who don't like drama. MY family doesn't like drama, and I'm not a teenager anymore. When a band director uses you (and your classmates) as a teenager to make themself look good, it's kind of sad when you repeat the pattern (in my case twice) when you are an adult. Some people have a "respect cup" that is bottomless, and they are going to make you fill it all the time. There are band directors like that you who live on respect. It's a drug, and when you don't play by their rules, they single you out (sometimes in EXCEEDINGLY subtle ways) to make sure that you fall in line. I don't fall in line like that anymore, and so I have to remove myself from the situation.
The fact is that the majority of the people in the band are happy because they don't know any better. That's fine. There's no reason for me to mess with that, but I won't be party to it anymore. I literally have too much going on to care anymore, and I need to focus my energy on projects that I know I can release this year. I can really do something, but I can't if I'm constantly listening to someone who is trying to get their respect cup filled. You may say that that's selfish, but you have to remember that I know what I'm worth. I don't get paid to perform a service that is highly valuable, and I have to listen to the constant barrage of manipulative banter which, even though it no longer works on me, is upsetting to listen to.
I just finished writing lyrics for an album, half the music is done, and I am going to record the melodies in the next couple weeks. The children's book may get a boost because I may have found an artist, and I have a thousand things I want to release digitally.
So, if you're experiencing drama in your life, it may be time to walk away or create some distance. You don't kick over the table and tell everyone to fuck off, but maybe it's time to get out of the situation and try something else. If you're a student who is stuck in the situation, hang in there as best you can. The best advice I can offer is this:
1. You're worth more than they say
2. You have a long life after this to live
3. I especially prefer when Lorelai explains to her mom the way she acts. She tells her that she chooses to laugh at Emily's insanity and narcissism. That is where all the jokes and sillyness come from. She uses humor to get around the fact that she knows she is being manipulated in every conversation. Choose to laugh at how silly it is on the other side, do something else with yourself and move forward. You don't always just move on, but you can move forward.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
New Video---Right Down The Middle Of The Horn
I talk for 15 minutes in this video, but it's all about playing right down the middle of the horn. For me, this is the sweet spot on the instrument. Give it a shot, and hear me out...I hope it helps!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Does Your Setup Really Make A Difference? (No, I mean REALLLLLLLY)
Ok, I really mean it. Does your setup really make that much of a difference? I mean, does your horn to the mouthpiece, ligature and reed actually do something for you?
Yes and no.
Your Horn
Your horn helps you up to a point. Wooden horns sound a little nicer because they are made of wood and have thicker walls. A horn with a larger bore gives you more room to move the sound around. An extended horn allows you to play notes you cannot play on a standard horn. Certain horns have notes that are right in a sweet spot, but most instruments are VERY similar. A new horn or a nicer horn is not going to make you suddenly better. It's great to have a nice horn (I have a very nice horn,) but that horn does not make me a good player. You cannot learn to play with your eyes on another prize. Learn to play what you have, plan to get something better in the future maybe (but never blame the horn as long as it is adjusted properly.) Yes, broken horns suck, but you can even learn to play past certain leaks if you're really dedicated. However, everyone can go to the shop (and most of the time your school band will pay for it.)
Your Mouthpiece
Mouthpieces make a big difference, and they are much cheaper than instruments. You can play any mouthpiece you want, but it has to be the right one for you. You NEVER EVER play a mouthpiece simply because someone told you to. I don't care if Jesus whittled it by hand out of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. I just don't care. The price of the mouthpiece of whatever other marketing they use is NOT helpful to you unless the mouthpiece is actually nice for you to play. This is why you order mouthpieces on approval and try them.
Your Ligature
Ligatures provide response, but they do not make you a better player. They do not allow you to do anything, but they do give you a certain level of response. It is like the ammunition you put in a gun. You can get the regular bullets, or you can get armor piercing rounds or you can go all military and get fragmentation rounds that explode when they hit a target. Your ligature does the same thing, you're in a first person shooter with your ligature. You can use something soft like a Rovner for softer response, or you can use a metal ligature for more crisp response. The metals and materials make a difference, and you could spend a LONG TIME thinking about which one to use. These ligatures do not make you better, but they allow you to do the things you already know how to do.
Your Reeds
Your reeds make a HUGE difference. Go watch my videos and you can tell which reeds were good and which were not. It's pretty obvious. They die, and you have to rotate them. They can make a HUGE difference if they are too hard, and they will squeak at you all the time if they are too soft. You can spend a lifetime finding the right reeds, but they are the biggest predictor of your success because they directly interface with your air to make sound.
Notice how I never said any of these things makes you better. I have actually seen marketing for ligatures and mouthpieces with "testimonials" of people saying that that product "allowed" them to do....whatever. Guess what, if you need a specific product to do something that is relatively standard, you're not practiced enough at it yet. You should learn how to do the thing really well, they you can do the thing on ANY equipment, but you can look for the equipment that makes it the EASIEST to do the thing?
If that made any sense...
Yes and no.
Your Horn
Your horn helps you up to a point. Wooden horns sound a little nicer because they are made of wood and have thicker walls. A horn with a larger bore gives you more room to move the sound around. An extended horn allows you to play notes you cannot play on a standard horn. Certain horns have notes that are right in a sweet spot, but most instruments are VERY similar. A new horn or a nicer horn is not going to make you suddenly better. It's great to have a nice horn (I have a very nice horn,) but that horn does not make me a good player. You cannot learn to play with your eyes on another prize. Learn to play what you have, plan to get something better in the future maybe (but never blame the horn as long as it is adjusted properly.) Yes, broken horns suck, but you can even learn to play past certain leaks if you're really dedicated. However, everyone can go to the shop (and most of the time your school band will pay for it.)
Your Mouthpiece
Mouthpieces make a big difference, and they are much cheaper than instruments. You can play any mouthpiece you want, but it has to be the right one for you. You NEVER EVER play a mouthpiece simply because someone told you to. I don't care if Jesus whittled it by hand out of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. I just don't care. The price of the mouthpiece of whatever other marketing they use is NOT helpful to you unless the mouthpiece is actually nice for you to play. This is why you order mouthpieces on approval and try them.
Your Ligature
Ligatures provide response, but they do not make you a better player. They do not allow you to do anything, but they do give you a certain level of response. It is like the ammunition you put in a gun. You can get the regular bullets, or you can get armor piercing rounds or you can go all military and get fragmentation rounds that explode when they hit a target. Your ligature does the same thing, you're in a first person shooter with your ligature. You can use something soft like a Rovner for softer response, or you can use a metal ligature for more crisp response. The metals and materials make a difference, and you could spend a LONG TIME thinking about which one to use. These ligatures do not make you better, but they allow you to do the things you already know how to do.
Your Reeds
Your reeds make a HUGE difference. Go watch my videos and you can tell which reeds were good and which were not. It's pretty obvious. They die, and you have to rotate them. They can make a HUGE difference if they are too hard, and they will squeak at you all the time if they are too soft. You can spend a lifetime finding the right reeds, but they are the biggest predictor of your success because they directly interface with your air to make sound.
Notice how I never said any of these things makes you better. I have actually seen marketing for ligatures and mouthpieces with "testimonials" of people saying that that product "allowed" them to do....whatever. Guess what, if you need a specific product to do something that is relatively standard, you're not practiced enough at it yet. You should learn how to do the thing really well, they you can do the thing on ANY equipment, but you can look for the equipment that makes it the EASIEST to do the thing?
If that made any sense...
The Second Video Is Finally Ready!
I won't recap 15 minutes of talking, but here it is:
http://youtu.be/q1Tmfh60VLY
Just a talk about extracting as much sound as you can get from your instrument without sounding like a lunatic.
http://youtu.be/q1Tmfh60VLY
Just a talk about extracting as much sound as you can get from your instrument without sounding like a lunatic.
Monday, March 23, 2015
The First Video Is Up (And It's About Tone....Oooohhhhhhh)
I could posted anything for my first video. I could have played some ridiculously high mess, or I could have growled, flutter tongued and techniqued my way through the video, but that doesn't really hold my interest. I can do all those things, but I feel like Quigley. I didn't say I didn't know how to do that, I just said I didn't have much use for it.
So, I started with tone: The video is here https://youtu.be/uK3P3EYSuqs and it's just me playing Amazing Grave at the bottom of the instrument with a lot of resonance, a little volume and many styles and speeds of vibrato. I would never release that as an album, but it is something that I would use to teach.
You have to get all the sound out of your instrument that you can, and it's kind of hard to do that when you are not actually blowing air into the instrument or thinking about it. I blab for like 15 minutes in the instructional video (which is coming soon), so go watch if you want a primer in thinking about your sound (and yes, I've thought about it a lot.)
Happy hunting!!!!
So, I started with tone: The video is here https://youtu.be/uK3P3EYSuqs and it's just me playing Amazing Grave at the bottom of the instrument with a lot of resonance, a little volume and many styles and speeds of vibrato. I would never release that as an album, but it is something that I would use to teach.
You have to get all the sound out of your instrument that you can, and it's kind of hard to do that when you are not actually blowing air into the instrument or thinking about it. I blab for like 15 minutes in the instructional video (which is coming soon), so go watch if you want a primer in thinking about your sound (and yes, I've thought about it a lot.)
Happy hunting!!!!
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Is Anxiety Normal In Music?
The short answer is no, it's not. If you feel extra anxious all the time, you are dealing with a real disorder that a therapist can diagnose. I was anxious nearly all the time for over 30 years before I realized "Hey, that might be a problem." Students today are anxious for a number of reasons, but I was recently reminded of ways in which anxiety is used against people (especially kids.) If you feel like you need someone to talk to, please go to see a licensed therapist or counselor.
#1: Great People Don't Get Nervous
Well, that's not true. Pavarotti used to wretch before every performance because he was so nervous, yet he's considered the greatest tenor to ever live. Hmmmmmmmm. I also once heard someone say that "You know you're supposed to be doing something when you don't get nervous." That could not be further from the truth. People who care get nervous, people who don't care don't feel a thing.
#2: You're Just Getting Yourself Worked Up
Well, little kids do that when they don't get what they want, but that ends REALLY quick. They can turn it on and off because they are trying to get what they want. When you are "worked up" and you don't know know why or you can't turn it off, you are most assuredly not "getting yourself worked up."
#3: People Who Use Your Anxiety Against You
I think my college band director was the absolute worst in this area. First, you need to understand that there are band directors out there who think playing mind games with you is going to produce a great band. If you feel like your director is messing with your head, you need to report them. I'm not saying you need to get them fired, but someone needs to sit them down and tell them to stop. Many times, these are well-meaning people who learned this technique from assholes....they don't see the error of their ways because they think it's normal. If they get one talking to about it, they usually realize how messed up it is.
Anyways, people saying things to you like "if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen" is rude, disrespectful, unfounded and unprofessional/unethical. My college band director used to say that to a flutist in the band, and now she has a doctorate in performance. So what if she got extra nervous? Does that suddenly make her a bad person and player? No, but that is exactly how he made it sound, and the pall in the room when he made these comments was apparent. Again, that shit is not right, and it has to stop.
#4: Getting A Little Push
This does not include facing your fears. If you have massive performance anxiety, there are healthy ways to tackle it. If you could never imagine playing a recital by yourself, maybe you could do a chamber recital with a couple friends so you're not alone. You may also want to ask your counselor or therapist what they think would help. Getting a tiny nudge is not abusive...getting shoved on stage by someone is abusive. There's a big difference.
#5: Your Anxiety Is Not A Joke
I will never forget the time I heard a band director tell a girl in the band that she was a good player...until she got a boyfriend. That was in front of the WHOLE band. I recall distinctly that it was a new relationship, and she was trying to juggle that, hoping it would work out (because he really was a nice guy) and all her school/band stuff. Or, my college band director telling me that "If you're so anxious, why do you want to stand on a podium and talk to people?" First, I never said I was anxious, but we had a conversation where I admitted personal things to him that he twisted around to make me feel bad. That's not right.
Anyone who is using your anxiety as a joke or treats anxiety like a joke in general is someone to be avoided. Again, if it is someone in authority over you, you need to report them. In 2015, you are more than likely going to get some kind of relief when you do so.
#6: Can You Be A Good Musician?
I watched people quit their music major left and right when I was in college. They changed majors for a variety of reasons, but I know for sure that many of them just felt this overwhelming anxiety that they did not feel when they changed their major. One girl told me (on changing her major to psychology) that it was just simpler. Since we know that psychology is not simple....you can do the math.
You can be a great musician if you're anxious, you can be the best musician in the world if you're anxious, and you are not broken if you're anxious. Anxiety sucks, and intense anxiety sucks even more, but it is not a catch-all to tell you that you can't do something. The simple fact is that you can do anything you want when you surround yourself with people who understand you.
(This is the point at which someone will say "Well tough, that's the real world and people don't have to cater to you." I never said anyone should cater to you, but being a little understanding is just common decency. If you are confronted with people who suck, you can always turn to your friends at the end of the day for comfort. If you feel alone, the world of Tumblr is pretty big, and there are some nice people on it. If you think you'll never find people who understand you, I promise that you will. It may take some looking, but they're out there somewhere.)
Who you surround yourself with and who you encounter, those are two totally different people groups. The people you surround yourself with are the two, three, four people who know ALL your shit. I mean all of it, and they're still around. Those are lifelong friends. Everyone else is someone you encounter. You can deal with the people you encounter when you have people surrounding you. Just don't forget the difference, and don't think you have to do it alone, because you don't. You're not broken, anxiety is real and it is crippling for some. We should all have a little compassion where it's concerned.
#1: Great People Don't Get Nervous
Well, that's not true. Pavarotti used to wretch before every performance because he was so nervous, yet he's considered the greatest tenor to ever live. Hmmmmmmmm. I also once heard someone say that "You know you're supposed to be doing something when you don't get nervous." That could not be further from the truth. People who care get nervous, people who don't care don't feel a thing.
#2: You're Just Getting Yourself Worked Up
Well, little kids do that when they don't get what they want, but that ends REALLY quick. They can turn it on and off because they are trying to get what they want. When you are "worked up" and you don't know know why or you can't turn it off, you are most assuredly not "getting yourself worked up."
#3: People Who Use Your Anxiety Against You
I think my college band director was the absolute worst in this area. First, you need to understand that there are band directors out there who think playing mind games with you is going to produce a great band. If you feel like your director is messing with your head, you need to report them. I'm not saying you need to get them fired, but someone needs to sit them down and tell them to stop. Many times, these are well-meaning people who learned this technique from assholes....they don't see the error of their ways because they think it's normal. If they get one talking to about it, they usually realize how messed up it is.
Anyways, people saying things to you like "if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen" is rude, disrespectful, unfounded and unprofessional/unethical. My college band director used to say that to a flutist in the band, and now she has a doctorate in performance. So what if she got extra nervous? Does that suddenly make her a bad person and player? No, but that is exactly how he made it sound, and the pall in the room when he made these comments was apparent. Again, that shit is not right, and it has to stop.
#4: Getting A Little Push
This does not include facing your fears. If you have massive performance anxiety, there are healthy ways to tackle it. If you could never imagine playing a recital by yourself, maybe you could do a chamber recital with a couple friends so you're not alone. You may also want to ask your counselor or therapist what they think would help. Getting a tiny nudge is not abusive...getting shoved on stage by someone is abusive. There's a big difference.
#5: Your Anxiety Is Not A Joke
I will never forget the time I heard a band director tell a girl in the band that she was a good player...until she got a boyfriend. That was in front of the WHOLE band. I recall distinctly that it was a new relationship, and she was trying to juggle that, hoping it would work out (because he really was a nice guy) and all her school/band stuff. Or, my college band director telling me that "If you're so anxious, why do you want to stand on a podium and talk to people?" First, I never said I was anxious, but we had a conversation where I admitted personal things to him that he twisted around to make me feel bad. That's not right.
Anyone who is using your anxiety as a joke or treats anxiety like a joke in general is someone to be avoided. Again, if it is someone in authority over you, you need to report them. In 2015, you are more than likely going to get some kind of relief when you do so.
#6: Can You Be A Good Musician?
I watched people quit their music major left and right when I was in college. They changed majors for a variety of reasons, but I know for sure that many of them just felt this overwhelming anxiety that they did not feel when they changed their major. One girl told me (on changing her major to psychology) that it was just simpler. Since we know that psychology is not simple....you can do the math.
You can be a great musician if you're anxious, you can be the best musician in the world if you're anxious, and you are not broken if you're anxious. Anxiety sucks, and intense anxiety sucks even more, but it is not a catch-all to tell you that you can't do something. The simple fact is that you can do anything you want when you surround yourself with people who understand you.
(This is the point at which someone will say "Well tough, that's the real world and people don't have to cater to you." I never said anyone should cater to you, but being a little understanding is just common decency. If you are confronted with people who suck, you can always turn to your friends at the end of the day for comfort. If you feel alone, the world of Tumblr is pretty big, and there are some nice people on it. If you think you'll never find people who understand you, I promise that you will. It may take some looking, but they're out there somewhere.)
Who you surround yourself with and who you encounter, those are two totally different people groups. The people you surround yourself with are the two, three, four people who know ALL your shit. I mean all of it, and they're still around. Those are lifelong friends. Everyone else is someone you encounter. You can deal with the people you encounter when you have people surrounding you. Just don't forget the difference, and don't think you have to do it alone, because you don't. You're not broken, anxiety is real and it is crippling for some. We should all have a little compassion where it's concerned.
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